Buddhist philosophy has referred to a place of uncertainty as the middle path. A place in which we do not have enough information to make a left or a right turn and we are ‘stuck’ in the middle ground, that is without a reference point. After many years of always deciding a left or a right, yes or no, good or bad, right or wrong, it can be very uncomfortable, even frightening, to be in a place without reference.

When we find ourselves in this unfamiliar place of not-knowing, we may observe ourselves grasping at anything or anyone who may pull us from this space of being, to one of security and momentary elation. We often spend so much of our day, weeks, and lifetimes seeking this external satisfaction that when we are in a state of vulnerability, we will do anything to remove ourselves from its clutches.

Perhaps instead of feeding this desperation to fix our sadness, or sorrow, or perhaps instead of fighting back against our uncertainty, we could begin to practice being with these sensations.

Even though it may seem like agony, and against the sweet detachment from ourselves we have become accustomed to, allowing ourselves to tread water, and eventually float in the feeling of uncertainty, the middle path, could perhaps provide relief, and solace and clarity.

Seeing our life and our thoughts as they are, life and thoughts, challenges, and learnings, feelings and sensations, helps one to be less caught in the trap of our habitual patterns and more comfortable with floating in the place when there is perhaps no light, or name or reference.

In meditation and yoga we speak of finding this space between the thoughts, where words and judgments don’t exist, where with practice, we can begin to stay and float for periods of time, in the calm and emptiness, without conduction, or need, or reference.

When you are facing uncertainty, practice breathing into your moment with kindness, and wrap yourself in the discomfort of being, no matter how long it promises to stay. Sit back and float in your river of confusion that with awareness, will only lead us back to ourselves.

By Corie Kielbiski

Corie Kielbiski works as a Holistic Nutritionist, Yoga and Meditation teacher at InspireHealth,  a not-for-profit integrative cancer care centre. She has been teaching yoga and meditation for 7 years throughout Vancouver, Victoria and beyond and loves to share the connection of nutrition and well-being.

Yoga Minutes with Troy is a 7-part series of short videos featuring Troy Turi.

You can watch them here, or on Troy’s YouTube channel.

Soulful expression. Non-political, uncompromising Spirituality and incredible credits. Every week a new jump into consciousness, raw and unbounded. A guide into how to be Beautiful. What authenticity and honesty looks like. The Unspoken, Spoken. Also as a bonus experience, the witnessing of how someone’s hair dries when coming in from a snowstorm. I was ambushed.. so I went with it. Accept the situation as it is right?

The Tiger’s Nuts.

There was once a squirrel. Thousands in fact. Though small, they ruled the roost of this small village called OGYA. They made Life’s priority to collect nuts. If you didn’t collect nuts, you were not allowed to play in their yearly games. One of the games was called WanderNuts. Even amongst squirrels the competition was fierce for who you knew and how to inflate your self Image simply came down to agreeing to collect nuts a certain way. .”You wanna come to… you wanna be sponsored by.. you wanna teach at..” It was important to be in the Squirrel’s high court of status. Or who were you…?

The more nuts you had, the better you were amongst the other squirrels that lived to collect nuts. The better you were the more the Chief Squirrels would invite you to their yearly games and to their high status friends… where the Chief Squirrels could agree how important they all were. All wanted to be able to attend and all wanted to be the Chief. None of them knew initially that change was coming.. . such IS life.. because their spirituality of nuts didn’t prepare them for the Tiger amongst them.

In the outskirts of OGYA, solitary, fierce, not squirrel fierce, fierce fierce, lived a tiger.

He knew.. he was a tiger and could never be a squirrel. “Compete for nuts? I am a Tiger…” So he watched from behind his stripes… to discern what he was seeing; he saw squirrels give value to Nuts, sell the idea of its value and pretend that the world wasn’t just about living for Nuts, even while elbows were thrown and squirrels bought different brands of clothing but held the same agreed upon beliefs of collecting as they all strived to be in the Chief Squirrel’s favor… elbowing each other or agreeing with, whatever allowed them to be included into Chief Squirrel status. The squirrels that were different were not to be played with.. different how? They didn’t speak of nuts in spiritual terms and reflect on nuts via what past Chiefs said on nuts. Ultimately no nut power could negate the Presence that a Tiger had moved into their village… and as much as they left him alone, they were starting to change… everything was… because they couldn’t concentrate on their beliefs as easily… when the tiger began to venture into their circle uninvited. What did the tiger want?

The tiger started to eat squirrels, that’s what Tigers do. The squirrels that offered him a spot at WanderNuts, he ate those squirrels, the squirrels tried to isolate him by calling him aggressive and unNutly, pretending that he didn’t exist, he ate them.. some squirrels started to follow him and ask him to be their teacher of how to be a Tiger, he ate them too.. he ate so many squirrels that his own livelihood began to be at risk… until one day… a Fox, named DQD, with the longest, flowing tail and a soul like no tomorrow… fearlessly approached the Tiger, “You can’t live in Ogya and kill them all. You’re only hurting yourself, for once you eat them all you too will die. Surely all the squirrels in the world can’t amount to scaring a Tiger? … but you’re acting like them… They hate.. you hate.. what’s the difference? Why must you kill them all? Are you so small?”

He went inwards.. and as he pondered, a nut fell from a tree, he ate the Nut.. “I want– only to be beautiful… ,and I don’t care for the things that are false… mmm… mmmm… damn this nnnut tastes good. The nut is real.. is beauty.”

“That’s all they want too, that’s all they want too… to be beautiful…”

He thanked the Fox and agreed to leave OGYA, before he departed.. he walked into the village and waited for the scared squirrels to come out.. he waited for a week… the chief Squirrel finally came out of his hole and the tiger spoke to him. “If I can learn how to be beautiful then you can learn that exploiting nuts is not what living in OGYA is about.. It is about us being what we are… and helping others enjoy the taste of… the savoring of.. the Life of… nuts… not about collecting them or using them to be important… other Tigers will come and the only thing that will save you next time is if you teach those tigers how to enjoy Being Nutty…

Each Urban Yoga Retreat is centered around relaxing the 3 vehicles we use to meet the world… the body, the mind, and your Soul/heart.

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This full day session will focus on You. Featuring 2 x 60 minute yoga classes, one outdoors ( weather permitting), 2 workshops, snacks, lunch and some fresh Juice Box Juices. You will refresh and take the space home with you.

Cost: $80

Date: June 22, 2013

Location: VanDusen Botanical Garden (map & info)

Purchase tickets

Day’s events: (subject to change)

8:30am — Sign in
9:00am-10:15am — Outdoor Yoga Class w/ troy turi
10: 30-10:45 — Juicing. Why do it? Followed by a Tasting. With Juice Box’s Willow Anne Polishchuk
11-12:30pm — Farzana Jaffer Jeraj How to cheat at Meditation: Hypnosis
12-35pm – 1:30pm — Lunch
1:35pm-2:45pm — workshop w/ Tedi Martin
3:00-4pm — Yoga class w/ Tedi Martin
4:00-4:30 — Discussions for the day and closing.

Farzana Jaffer Jeraj is a multi-faceted gift of a healer. She runs her own company Clear Mind Hyponosis Inc, and is currently in the midst of completing her first book, “You can be Spiritual and not be Flakey.” Expect to feel the healing power of your subconscious though hypnosis,”How to cheat at Meditation” along with some sound work if time permits.

She is on the board of directors for A Better Life Foundation, created by Mark Brand and on the board of directors of Feeding Change created by Preet Marwarha and is also launching an NFP intiative called “One friend is all it takes.”

Welcome to your life.

This full day session will focus on YOU.  Featuring 2 x 60 minute yoga classes, a nutrition seminar, a powerful guided meditation workshop, and yummy snacks and green juice, you’ll leave feeling refreshed, renewed and more in tune with your mind, body, and heart.

Cost: $45

Location: World Art Room, Goldcorp Centre for the Arts

Purchase tickets

Schedule (subject to change):

9:30am – Registration
10am – Yoga Class with Tedi Martin
11:15am – Nutrition Seminar
12:15pm – Lunch (provided)
1:00pm – Welcome to your Life: Moving Past the Obstacles – Workshop with Troy Turi
2:30pm – Yoga class with Troy Turi

“Real” Yoga in Lov-ina, Indonesia.

The Bemo (Bus) driver, Panca, was going the opposite direction of myself when he pulled to the side of the road where me, mySelf and my suitcase sat. I had been sitting for less than 5 minutes waiting for The Red Bemo bus to come sometime between 9-10am. It was Bali time, best to be early. I was sitting at 8 30.

Panca had 3 passengers stuffed with goods and dead things in his rackety version of a mini-van, a testament to the kindness of Life that it still ran, it was probably made in the early 80’s. The 3 passengers ranged in age from a young, uniformed school girl to an elderly man of at least 75, who had a more fit body than myself at 40 and a very fit elderly woman.

Panca asked me matter of factly, “where you going?”

“Lovina. The other direction?” Panca pondered what this meant, looking in the direction my finger was pointing in.

I had been given specific directions on how to catch a Bemo Bus to Lovina from the small town I was located in. I was told it may be a very difficult transport. I handed him the piece of paper I was given so he knew I was aware of my intention of getting there without having to get ripped off. On the paper it said, “3 different Bemo destinations, with 3 different colored buses all ranging in 3 different estimated prices for each trip, so I had a rough idea of the cost. The total for the experience would be somewhere around 85,000 Rupiahs. $8.80 Canadian.

Then he made my life. “100,000 to Lovina. Direct.”

“Direct?”

“Direct.”

“I’ll take it.” I glanced back smiling deliciously at all of the other passengers. They all stared back with a look of horror.

“What about them? They’re going the other way.”

“No problem. They get out now.”

I quickly shifted gears and told Panca and mostly them—they had no idea about what I was saying–  “we drop them off first.”

So we did. He told me it was 1km to drop them off, maybe kilometres in Bali are a different measurement because if 1km in Bali was more like 10km then that seemed much more like it.

I waited to see if we would ever turn around and go in the direction that Lovina was actually in. After some time, sure enough, we did.

There is a kindness present in how little death actually occurs in driving here, probably anywhere.

One lane is used and on this one lane racing, helmetless drivers using scooters with newborns on board, motorbikes, monster Petroleum-filled trucks with the blackest exhaust and buses compete in a continuous game of Chicken… and you watch your living soul appreciate that you are still existing because the flow has to be just perfect for you or many to not get seriously hurt. Or killed. Seriously.

A tourist friend that lives here later told me that in one day 9 people died on this stretch of road. That wasn’t including the accidents that also happened.

To drive here is asking for your end, especially if you are not from around here. There is a flow that you must encompass to not get hurt. Even the children walking fearlessly on the road itself into traffic are a part of this flow; they think nothing of it. They inhabit it.

In Thailand, the number one death in the country is coconuts falling on your head. The number two death is white people driving scooters when they have never driven them before. I was one of those people in Thailand. I saw the man with no face, just eyes, staring out. Or the other man who had lost his heel and had an empty stare very much like what I imagine women go through in birth. I spent 3 weeks having my back raked with a steel brush to clean the wound.

It was a good day to die; even better, to still remain. Or to Stillness remain.

So it wasn’t a difficult transport after all, in fact it was easy. It started and ended with accepting the situation as it is… I just had to risk all of who I was to receive the gift.